What Is Your Home Saying About YOU?
Our homes say a whole lot about us! The condition of our homes can tell us a lot about how WE are doing. Here's how to hear what our home are telling us.
Your home says a whole lot about you! Just look around! The health of your home can be an indicator of how you are doing too! I’m not talking about how pristine everything looks or how well-appointed your home decor is. It’s more basic than that. It’s about how well cared for and tidy and welcoming your home is. Let’s talk about how our home can tell us a lot about ourselves!
American women get much of their identity from the homes we live in.
A good deal of our self-worth is often defined by our homes. We may not like to hear this and it may seem superficial. But it’s not. Most women are the caregivers of our home and family. And how we care for our homes is often a reflection of how we care for ourselves.
I’m one of those American women who finds a great deal of identity in my home. And it is so true that the condition and health of my home certainly reflect my mental, emotional, and state!
Since I have been blogging, I can honestly say that my home although much more stylish is certainly messier. And this, at times drives me crazy!
A photoshoot or a diy can create a whole lot of upheaval here at the Tanglewood House. And because I am working more than a 40-hour work week, I find my time to organize and stay on top of things is quite limited. By the end of the day, I often run out of steam!
I tend to keep the public areas of my home pretty organized and welcoming but the private areas could use a little work. My study for one tends to be a dumping ground for things I don’t have time to put away! And let’s not even talk about my basement.
This causes me a good deal of angst!
It’s difficult for me to go into a room that is disorganized and messy. So I usually cope by becoming mess-blind. It’s my way of not really seeing the mess at all! So the mess grows and grows like a snowball rolling downhill!
It’s really my way of avoiding the issue of not having enough hours in the day.
And it makes sense.
I am a person who likes to confront issues head on and get on with life. However, if I can’t see a problem I don’t have to deal with it. So by becoming mess-blind, I can avoid my tendency to be messy when I am overwhelmed.
If I am honest (and I am a pretty transparent person) I can see from my home that I need a little extra help with what I call schlep work. Putting things away after a photoshoot, carrying things up and down from the basement or other rooms, and keeping organized!
Schlep work is a very important job! It is the foundation of a tidy home!
Some women can’t stand ANYTHING out of place in their homes or don’t like to have company because it means messing their perfect home up. And some families only live in a small part of a larger home to keep it looking fabulous.
Some of us will give up doing fun and social things because we need to stick to a rigid homekeeping schedule. Some of us can’t let go of things and have too much that clutter and confuse our lives. All of those home related issues reflect a deeper, inner struggle.
Do you think if we just clean up our homes our issues that caused them will go away?
Have you seen the show Hoarders? I have a feeling when the mess is finally cleaned up and their homes are nice and neat it might stay that way for a little while. But I bet most of them eventually get right back into the same mess if not an even bigger mess because they have not dealt with the issues that caused them.
For me, (let’s use my messy places as an example) I need to re-learn how to put things in their place. And give things I have a home. I like tidy. It feels good. It makes me feel like I’m in control. Messy is a sign of things getting out of control. And my messy house is only a symptom.
The only way things will get better is if we see what is going on in our homes, address the problem and make a plan to work on the underlying and real issues causing the problems that creep up in our homes.
For me, I need to stop avoiding and start really seeing things, like my messy study, for what it really is. And get busy! I also need to hire someone to help me when my work schedule gets too busy.
And because I know that this messy study problem can creep up on me again, I need to be aware of the issue and act to keep it healthy!
Your house may not be telling you that you have a problem keeping things in control when you get too busy like mine does. It may be telling you something else. Listen to your home!
Let’s get deep and real about what we see in our homes!
How healthy is your home? How welcoming is your home to you and your family and all who come inside?
We all want homes, no matter how grand or simple, that are pleasures to live in. Homes that are safe and welcoming. We all want homes that reflect our good attitudes and our positive emotions.
What does your home say about you?
Truly wise words, Yvonne!
My home is a barometer of my happiness. If I am feeling good, my house looks good too. If I am stressed, my house is a mess.
I have ” a room of shame” which is a semi-permanent depository for all the stuff looking for a permanent place in my home. Sometimes I dare not enter it for fear for my safety because it is so crammed full.
A quick home analysis tells me that I am feeling a little overwhelmed at the moment . There’s just too much going on and too little time in the day. I also fret about the fact that I have all this stuff which I am not using/enjoing and the money which I spent on these things which might have been better spent elsewhere.
Thank you, Yvonne, for your honesty. Your home always looks so perfect in your blog photos. It helps to hear that you are struggling with some of the real-life issues that the rest of us face!
For me, we recently moved into a brand-new home with the understanding that it was “move in ready”. Once we moved all of our stuff in, we discovered that a lot of the construction had problems and it has to be redone. Needless to say, the current condition of our home does not reflect me or my design esthetic. I am holding off delivery of our upholstered items, because I don’t want them to get ruined. The same goes for window treatments. We are sleeping on the floor and sitting in outdoor fold-up chairs. Not a very welcoming arrangement! And to make matters worse, it is taking FOREVER for the replacement materials to come in and the subs to be available to do the repairs. I find myself dressing in old clothes – who wants to ruin your good clothes? (I should mention that we have a well. Before the filtration system was recently installed, our water had dirt in it!) And I am holding back on meeting new people, because I don’t want to be judged by the current condition of my house. This has been such a disappointment!
My (ultimate) goal is to set up “systems” that make using spaces – and hopefully keeping them presentable – easier to do. For example, I have something called a “soaps” closet in the laundry room. I had an electric outlet installed in this closet, and I had the shelving installed fairly high. We have installed hooks under the bottom shelf – this is where I hang up things like brooms, mops, etc. And my Dyson cordless vac is mounted on the wall and plugged into the outlet. It is easy to vacuum the floor in this closet, because nothing is sitting on the floor. Setting up these systems takes some time and some thought, but, hopefully, in the long run it will be time and effort well spent.
Oh, how this article resonated with me. I always wished for a fairy godmother with that magical wand and words to straighten up my mess. I suppose I have to find my own magic.
I have similar hiding places as you do, I chuckled as I read about those locations.
I really appreciate and need calmness and orderliness. Isn’t it amazing when you walk into a hotel room and see how calm it is, only to see chaos when the suitcases open up.
When I worked a full-time demanding job and had two teenagers, I hardly had time for anything, much less housework and decor! As an empty nester and newly retired, that’s a little easier! I feel that I can always welcome visitors at a moments notice. Sure, the pillows might need plumping and I might need to clean the toilet in the hall bath, but I’m not ashamed (like I had been in the past). Besides, I’ve been in some houses that look so much worse than mine that those little things can be overlooked. I DO have a hoarder in my family and it’s a cycle…we had to sell his 4 bedroom home, put him in a one bedroom 600 sq foot apartment and he still can’t care for it properly…it’s so sad and I want to help him, but he has to be cured on his own. I’m searching for a happy medium…sometimes it’s difficult to keep in contact with him because his behavior is so frustrating!
We’ve been in our home 30 years and I’ve really only really loved it the last five. I always wanted to “give it a chance”, because I knew it had potential, it just needed some TLC. Now that we have time to care for it, it’s a lovely home. My husband and I would be perfect for the Love it or List it show!
Our garage is our dumping ground. It’s hideous! But, it’s our storage space. My husband and his sister don’t like to get rid of anything, thinking they’ll need it at some point. I live with two adults who think everything should be left where they last placed it. NO, everything should be kept in it’s place so that we’re not constantly searching for the things they need. We are always looking for eyeglasses, phones, wallets, keys, etc. Neither one tuck in chairs at a table when they get up, they leave things everywhere, my live in sister-in-law takes things into her room and they are lost forever!
Now that I’m retired, I’m taking one room at a time, one closet, one drawer and my goal is to get rid of HALF of everything! Yesterday, I went through every book shelf and removed everything that I’d read and wasn’t a classic or something I truly loved. Two stacks, 3 feet high going to Goodwill, two full bags going to a friend. Anything remaining is being categorized, contained and labeled. My husband and his sister think I’m nuts!
I think the key is to not let things get piled up. However, I think most people tend to go through seasons that are more messy than others.
This surprised me! From your pictures, I thought your whole house would be organized, including your basement with all your other decor pieces. It makes sense with your hectic schedule of blogging, looking after your house. and hosting family and friends that some areas would be a depository.
I keep my house clean and tidy. Always, always make my bed pretty in the morning. I have a room that is multi use. It had a Murphy bed for overflow company, a desk, filing cabinet tucked in one corner as our office and book shelves for my library. I also keep my extra decor pieces in there. Even though it has a lot going on, I have it neat and tidy. I set up vignettes with extra decor so they are not just clutter. The desk can get a bit messy with papers but I file or shred as soon as I’m done with them. The rest of my house is uncluttered, decorated in neutrals, and always clean. It is my sanctuary.
My good friend has so much stuff in her house that when I visit my mind doesn’t rest. I couldn’t live like that. My preference is that she come to my house or we go out for lunch.
I love when friends and family come to visit. After everyone goes to bed, I fluff pillows, pick up things & tidy my kitchen so I wake up to a tidy place and can enjoy my early morning coffee. I love company and host friends often but as soon as they are gone I need to get everything back as it should be. I’m not sure what that says about me.
Love this post. I had a flashback from the days when we would visit my aunt who had white couches covered in plastic! I also remember growing up where our living room was “off-limits”and only for company! I want to recommend a book called Atomic Habits by James Clear. He talks about the current systems we have in place creates our clutter and or bad habits. For example, I had a terrible habit of putting my clothes over a bench that sits at the end of my bed rather than hanging them up in the closet. Think of the scenario when you try on a blouse and change your mind. By the end of the week clothes would pile up! I made a small switch. I put my clothes on my bed near my pillow rather than the bench and every night it forces me to hang up my clothes. I know it sounds crazy but that’s simple switch in my system worked! Now I’m working towards just hanging my clothes up rather than throwing them on my bed. I give myself Grace. Baby steps.
I love your phrase MessBlind……my office/second bedroom in my small condo does take on that aspect more than I want to admit. The armchair which should be used for quiet reading is a catch-all for anything that doesn’t have a home yet. I spend a few hours once a month trying to get that room under control….I love calm and serene, the rest of my home is usually guest ready, except for the catch all room…Thank you for a great article, it’s well worth re-reading to keep things in perspective…..I love your design style, and enjoy how you share your home….
Hi Jen! thank you!
Well said. I relate to all of it. When the mess gets too big, it’s overwhelming.
Can you tell me the source for the lamp on this post. I’m in the market and this might be a consideration. Thanks,
Hela
Hi Hela, I found this at Kirklands. Hope this helps.
When I worked full time and our family was growing up I established a routine for maintaining the house. I did certain things on certain days, meal planning and shopping, etc., and then forgot about it until the next week. I usually put in a load of laundry early in the AM, and then into the dryer that evening. Everything looked clean and tidy – with the exception of our teenaged daughter’s room! I asked her to simply close her bedroom door if she couldn’t keep it neat – I was much more happy! Since retiring we have maintained a schedule – cleaning upstairs on Mondays, laundry on certain days, etc. In addition to this we go to our daughter’s home 2 days a week to help them – we do everything from cleaning, yard work, laundry, etc. They are busy professionals with two young homeschooled daughters. When I asked our daughter if she would like some help she didn’t say a word – just came over and hugged me. It keeps us busy, and connected with our wonderful family. I know viewing a lot of home bloggers can make some ladies feel like they should be doing more – I love our home, and it has always been a priority for me and I do enjoy getting inspiration from others.
I love your carpet in the living room, it brings everything to life!! I need that carpet…. Where did you get it?
My home tells me everyday that my husband is a walking tornado, does that count? ?
Oh, I hove one of those too!