WHEN OKAY IS PERFECT

WHEN OKAY IS PERFECT- How to get off the perfection treadmill and start loving our home!

I so enjoy Practically Speaking, our Saturday post series at StoneGable… and I hope you are enjoying it too! It gives us a chance to think about home and decor and the ways they affects how we see ourselves, our homes and our lives in general. Today we are going to just scratch the surface about perfectionism and what it actually does to us! Even if you are not a perfectionist, most of us who love our homes are influenced by it to one degree or another. Today I want to to know when OKAY IS PERFECT!

WHEN OKAY IS PERFECT- How to get off the perfection treadmill and start loving our home!

It’s sometimes hard to be a home and garden blogger! It’s not the schedule or the styling or the schlepping or the late nights or the photo shoots or the bills or working with companies or coming up with subject matter or cleaning up blog messes…that’s hard! It’s the expectations!  Because people see my home styled and photographed at its very best they often think that my home looks like that all the time! Oh goodness, not so!  And there is another part to this equation. Because I am a home and garden blogger I have set a standard for myself and want my home to be seen at its best. Sorta a vicious cycle.

My home gets messy just like yours. I’m not a particularly organized person. I work at it. It’s not in my nature to salivate at the thought of organizing a closet or the garage. I envy those God-gifted women!!!! But I love how organized feels. So I’ve learned. Really, I am still learning. 

Here’s something else I am learning… when my house is even OKAY then it’s perfect FOR ME! I want to be able to look around my home and say, “You know what? This house is A-okay”! And smile and be thankful for what I have and stop seeing what needs to still be done and what isn’t perfect.

SPRING HOME TOUR 2016-living-room-chippy-urn-stonegableblog-2

I’m going to let you in on a secret… Our homes will NEVER be done or perfect!

On the off chance that our homes are ever done it will be for a blink of an eye. Something will always need to be fixed, painted, updated, cleaned up, changed, recycled, redone and more!  And for the flash that our homes are perfect we will eventually need to sit down on something, walk on the floors, cook something, sleep in a bed and do laundry. Dust and dirt accumulates, dogs and cats shed, things break, and so on!

The natural order of things is disorder!

WHEN OKAY IS PERFECT- How to get off the perfection treadmill and start loving our home!

And let’s think about this. Perfection is stressful and lots of work and almost morally dishonest! It’s just not who we are!  Striving for perfection is ungrateful and self-absorbed.  It’s all about “ME” and what “I” don’t have! It’s about making an impression on others. 

Let’s take a big, deep, clarifying breath! And start enjoying who we really are! AND START LOVING OUR HOMES even if they are just okay! Okay is the perfection of happy, well-adjusted, other-centered people.  I’m not saying get lax in keeping a tidy and neat home. Or to settle for worn out furnishing. 

WHEN OKAY IS PERFECT- How to get off the perfection treadmill and start loving our home!

If you are like me you get great joy in decorating. That’s wonderful. We just don’t want to overlook all the blessings we have in our homes already! 

How about if we concentrate on happy, healthy, loving homes… that happen to have real people living in them. Let’s decorate them as well as we can for our families and for ourselves… and NOT FOR OTHERS!

Some of us suffer from perfection more than others. It’s okay to strive to make a lovely home and it’s okay to want nice things. Let’s just keep it in perspective! Let’s give ourselves a break… and be okay with our homes just as they are. Even if it’s just for today!

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WHEN OKAY IS PERFECT- How to get off the perfection treadmill and start loving our home!

 

36 Comments

  1. In total agreement, I am a pefectionist, but I long ago realised, with five children, that I had to compromise with our house! Perfection is almost impossible to achieve with 7 people of varying ages living under one roof! I’ll settle for Okay quite happily. Far more importantly though I like our home to be a place where people feel welcome, where they feel they can relax and where they want to return to again and again, that to me is perfection.

  2. Well said and my home is soooooo far from perfect and I would never expect it to be. I am also not an organized person, but am working on that, too. Getting ready to do a lot of purging next month when a consignment shop moves to a huge warehouse close to me. I am so thrilled to have this place to unload my STUFF to without an appointment!

  3. Great advice. I love that saying “my house is clean enough to be healthy, but dirty enough to be happy”. lol I love having a clean, organized home (I am actually one of those women who LOVE to organize) but when kids and grandkids are here it’s impossible. So we just LIVE and enjoy each other. And I never nag my husband about his “dirt” lol. Except on days when I clean the floors I will ask him to help keep them clean for at least a day. 😉

  4. That was a great message, I follow a few blogs and sometime you can slip in to that mind set. My house is a work in progress updating for the last seven years, I’ am getting there though, working on our last bathroom as I’am writing this!! don’t feel like my house has to be perfect, just comfortable and a happy place for people to come and have a good time. Love your blog, gives me many ideas I love. Thanks for always sharing and always being real…

  5. Such a perf ect message about not only our homes but our work life and our personal selves. Ok is perfect!

  6. I couldn’t agree with you more! Our homes will never be completely done – mine definitely won’t! Your post does give a lot to think about. We have a similar saying we use in our house…One time when we opened up some new bar stools, I looked at them and said, “Well, they’re not terrible.” and my husband responded with, “Great! Not terrible is the new perfect!” We say that one all the time now! Always enjoy your blog. Have a great weekend!
    Shelley

  7. Our friends and family come for relaxing visits not to view a perfect showplace. They certainly will not find the ‘perfect’ house on a visit but a relaxing welcoming home.

  8. Yvonne, this was meant for me today, girl! Having a graduation party with about 200 people coming for my daughter who graduated from high school. Very exciting and very stressful. I do want it to be perfect, but if it’s okay, that’s okay! This was perfect timing for me. Thank you!!!

  9. Well said, Yvonne! When I was in my 20’s and even well into my 50’s, I strived to have everything perfect and would wear myself out before company arrived. I then developed back problems and found I had to let things slide somewhat. I discovered the world didn’t end if there was a pile of clean laundry to be put away or the cushions were askew on the couch and I also found dinner guests weren’t checking to see if there was dust collecting on top of picture frames. Whenever my house looked “perfect”, company never seemed to pop in but when it was a mess, I was guaranteed there’d be a knock at the door!! Murphy’s Law! lol!. Now that I’m of a certain “vintage”, while I still am an avid decorator and always freshening things up, if my place isn’t perfect, it no longer is an embarrassment to me! I always say: “as long as my sinks and toilets are clean, that’s all that really matters!”

    It sure would be fun to see all you talented bloggers do a “Before & After” post (maybe once a month) of your living room or kitchen just so we readers could see that ALL of us have daily messes to contend with and that none of us live in a state of perfection.

  10. I too am a perfectionist with a strong dose of OCD,but years ago I came to realize that I was making my laid back husband and son miserable in their own home with my desire for the “perfect” home.
    As you have so well stated, there is a place of balance where we can enjoy the imperfections. For example, the chipped and broken pieces that were well loved by a child or grandchild,and a well worn piece of furniture that rocked a baby,or cuddled us when we needed that quiet place of solitude to pray.
    Now perfection to me is having the forebearance to enjoy a messy house when my kids,grands, and guests are here enjoying the fruits of my labor.
    Thank you,Yvonne,for the reminder.

  11. I liked this content Yvonne…..very well said. The only thing that would have made it even more powerful would have been to have had pictures that showed your home in daily life, with pillows out of place, a little clutter here and there. :o) Yes, we who love homemaking, always will want to be improving or fixing something! But that’s because like you said….everything goes from order to disorder, clean to dirty, new to broken down. The one advantage to aging is one begins to get a deeper clarity on what is really the most important thing……people and how they FEEL when they are in our homes! And that is about LOVE not décor. Thanks for the reminder.

  12. So true….I’ve always kept a very clean house but today without my husband it doesn’t seem as important. I lost him suddenly two years ago. Nothing seems the same, knowing I’ll see him again by Gods Grace helps me get through every day. Like the saying goes
    ” don’t sweat over the small things “. Enjoy this pretty day and hug your spouse !

  13. I always tell my grandchildren that no one can be perfect or create perfect. The only perfection is God and God alone !!

  14. Ahhh Yvonne, your post was a breath of fresh air. Thank you for reminding me and all your fans to make peace with imperfection.
    Richard Carlson suggests this in his book: ‘DON’T SWEAT THE SMALL STUFF’. Focusing on what’s wrong with our house ( or life) prevents us from being content and grateful for what we have. The more we are able to elimate our need for perfection in different areas of our lives, the more we will begin to discover the perfection in life itself. So thank you again for shining your light on topics that are so meaningful to so many of us today. I will remember again to just exhale! ?

  15. Perfect spoils good. I learned that saying from the wife of a doctor. She had three small boys under six and a happy life with her family.
    Smiles

  16. LOL…then there those poor folks like me who simply strive for okay and never get there. I’m a hot mess of mish mash half done blog inspired projects…and a basement full of junk I’ve bought to try to attempt those projects. My poor husband?.

  17. I need to stop thinking I don’t like black. Clearly I am mistaken. Your home is so lovely, and you have made me rethink what I like. 🙂

  18. Your thoughts on perfection are brilliantly stated! We have a custom home design and build company, and so many of our clients express the desire for the “perfect” home. My husband has always told them we never have and never will build a “perfect” home. There’s always something they might change if they were to rebuild. Or something unplanned happens during construction and you fix it and move on. There’s really only one thing in life that’s perfect – God’s love for us and his perfect son, our savior Jesus Christ. We have shared this post with our staff, not so they allow their standards to relax, but so they may be able to help our clients keep things in perspective. Thank you!

  19. “Okay is perfect.”- Stone Gable “It doesn’t have to be perfect to be beautiful.” – The Nester. Our homes should be peaceful and offer a safe place to others. Our doors should be open to fellowship and minister. Thank you for your honesty in this post!

  20. Thank you for this article. I am retired, and find myself at home a lot. I constantly keep my tv on hgtv. I change things constantly. I get teased a lot about that also! I am always trying to make my home perfect, if only until I get another idea! Pinterest is the worst!! Every weekend we have a project! So maybe after reading this, my home will be “okay”!

  21. I needed that this morning. We moved into our house last February and it’s still not completely unpacked and organized. There are still new furniture pieces to be bought,things to be cleaned or refreshed, and never enough hours in the day because in the midst of my chaos life still happens. It’s overwhelming at times.
    Thank you. I’m so glad I found this post this morning. Have a blessed day.

  22. This was a perfect article for me to get in my email today! I love listening to your podcast and looking at all the pictures on your blog, but sometimes it can make me become dis-content with the beautiful home I already have. I work hard to make it look beautiful and I’m always changing something, but I need to remember this! It’s not “magazine” worthy, but it works for my family. When we are always wanting to get better and nicer things, it makes it seem like we are not thankful for what we already have.

  23. I’m enjoying the very practical, real aspects of your blog along with all the beauty, creativity and inspiration! Blessings, new friend!

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