HOW TO LOVE PEOPLE WHEN THEY DON’T LOVE YOU

How To Love People When They Don't Love You- ss-9-28-14

I have a friend that is hard to like sometimes! And I’m sure my friend feels the same way about me… if not worse! I love her dearly, but she is somewhat of a difficult person when it comes to me. We have been friends for decades and our lives have been intertwined. We have shared so many of life’s happiest moments together, and mourned together over life’s devastating blows! But here’s the bottom line… I am a Christian and she is not! And for some reason that often rubs her the wrong way! I often rub her the wrong way! My heart is broken over her! She doesn’t know that I pray daily for her and have conversations about her with the Father, begging Him to let me love her more, to let her love me too and to open her precious eyes to see the TRUTH.

I’m sure many of you may have experienced the same thing. Sometimes our Christian walk becomes a wedge… an offense… stumbling block to the people we love. I’m sure part of it is that we are probably not doing this life right! We, as Christians, don’t walk the walk we talk! So true! We are sinners just like the rest of everyone walking around this planet. We need to get better at loving people!

And even when we are living life according to our beliefs,  doing life in a close relationship with  Christ… we are still a wedge… and offense… and a stumbling block to many people!

I cling to John 15 because in that chapter of the Bible I have found great truth about this kind of situation!

I hope it will help you too so let’s go back to 1st century Israel and look into a beautiful and bittersweet scene from the Bible.

Jesus and his disciples have just left the upper room in Jerusalem where they have celebrated the Passover. It’s Jesus’ last supper He will share on this earth with his friends before He dies. He knows his suffering and crucifixion and death are only hours away.

Jesus and his group of eleven men are traveling from their supper, late at night, across the magnificent city of  Jerusalem. The city is packed to overflowing with both Jews and Roman military. It is the time of one the great feasts that all Jews are commanded by God to go “up” to Jerusalem to celebrate.

Once outside the walls of the city Jesus and the disciples embark  down a steep, steep slope called the Kidron Valley. And at the bottom of the valley they make their way up the other side. Up the Mount of Olives. About half way up is a garden…  really an olive grove… called Gethsemane. Gethsemane means “olive press”.  Jesus will spend the remaining hours of His time as a free man praying!

As the Lord and His disciples travel from the upper room to the olive grove, Jesus is teaching! And what He is teaching his friends, those who will witness His suffering and most shameful death, are some very important last things!

If I were on my deathbed with my loved one’s around I would not talk about the weather… or the football scores… or any frivolous thing! I would want to impart to them the best of my wisdom, the most important things to remember! I think that is exactly what Jesus did too!

Jesus is waking and teaching and speaking to these men from an urgent, full heart! He is talking about how they should behave to one another and to the world.

“THIS IS WHAT I COMMAND YOU, THAT YOU WOULD LOVE ONE ANOTHER.” John 15:17

Not a request, not a suggestion, but a command from the eternal King!  Jesus is commanding His disciples to love one another. Probably not the love we think about. But AGAPATE… a love that sacrifices oneself for another. A love that costs something.

“IF THE WORLD HATES YOU, YOU KNOW THAT IT HAS HATED ME BEFORE IT HATED YOU.” John 15:18

The word “if” in this verse really means: know this for sure. So Jesus is saying, know for sure that the world will hate you because it has hated me. The world, the system that is under the power of Satan will hate anyone that follows Jesus. Do you know this for sure? Well, you should!

“IF YOU WERE OF THIS WORLD, THE WORLD WOULD LOVE IT’S OWN; BUT BECAUSE YOU ARE NOT OF THIS WORLD, BUT I CHOSE YOU OUT OF THIS WORLD, THEREFORE THE WORLD HATES YOU.” John 15:19

Those who buy into the world’s system, the one opposed to Christ, are loved by the world. Not loved in the the way God asks us to love, but a love that benefits the world and not the person. A person who is chosen by Christ will not, and you must believe this, will not be loved by the world!

 

Let’s boil this down to a very personal, every day way of thinking!

In this world there are really only two reactions to the followers of Christ. LOVE (agape love- sacrificing for you) or HATE.

As a rule, the world and all who hate Christ will also hate you! Why? Because they are convicted on a spiritual level, one so deep they don’t really even perceive it. The Holy Spirit living in you convicts them of the way they are living and their need for a Savior. Because you love them, through the power of the Holy Spirit, you are giving the Holy Spirit freedom to do His work!

Jesus also tells His disciples on their last walk…

‘BUT I TELL YOU THE TRUTH, IT IS TO YOUR ADVANTAGE THAT I GO AWAY; FOR IF (again, know for sure) I DO NOT GO AWAY, THE HELPER SHALL NOT COME TO YOU; BUT IF I GO, I WILL SEND HIM TO YOU.

AND HE, WHEN HE COMES, WILL CONVICT THE WORLD CONCERNING SIN, AND RIGHTEOUSNESS AND JUDGEMENT;

CONCERNING SIN,  BECAUSE THEY HAVE NOT BELIEVED IN ME” John 16:7-9

When Jesus ascended to the Father He did not leave us alone! Jesus sent the Holy Spirit to indwells each believer! What a gift!

When we as believers meet the world  the Holy Spirit convicts them through us! Even in our sinfulness (and we are sinful) He can do His work of showing the world they need a Savior. And this rubs the world the wrong way! It makes them hate us, because they hate Jesus and don’t want a Lord! They don’t want to do things the King’s way because they want to do things their own way!

The OTHER reaction the world will have towards us is they will be so attracted to us. Not us really, but to the Holy Spirit in us. They will want to know what we have that they don’t.

Jesus in John chapter 10 calls Himself the Good Shepherd. He goes on to say…

“THE SHEEP HEAR HIS VOICE AND HE CALL HIS OWN SHEEP BY NAME AND THE FOLLOW HIM”. John 10:3.

Though us the Holy Spirit is calling for the world to be followers of Jesus.  And some people we rub elbows with will pick up their little sheepy ears and hear! They will be convicted too! But when they are convicted they will not hate it but believe it! They will hear the call and want to leave the world that loves them and wants to devour them like a wolf and join the beloved of Jesus who He loves so much He sacrificed Himself for!

There is one way we are to react to the world… no matter what! We are to love all people. Period! Why would anyone want to join a group that hates them or degrades them or puts them down? We are to love… AND LET THE HOLY SPIRIT IN US DO HIS WORK! We don’t need to judge, because the world is already judged by God! God is the judge, not us! Yes, there is a time a place for us to judge good and evil, but this is not it! We are to love people and hate what is sinful. Not hate people!

We must love and love and love and speak the TRUTH… in love and love some more! We must love even if it literally kills us. That is just what Jesus did!

The world will hate you but you are to keep on loving the people of this world!

And by doing that the Holy Spirit is convicting everyone around you! He is calling them to a relationship with their Creator, their King, their Savior!

 

I hope this helps you understand your position in Christ when it comes to the world. I hope you understand your position because you are indwelled by the Holy Spirit. I hope you understand how to love when people don’t love you!

So, that is why I will never give up on my lost friend. I want to love her right into the nail pierced hands of her Savior… no matter what it takes!

 

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24 Comments

  1. Thank you – I appreciate hearing this today! <3

  2. ‘Never talk politics or religion with friends’. I’m sure if you follow this mantra you and your friend will have a less turbulent future.

  3. Lori Edmonds says:

    Thanks so much for your words of encouragement expounding on the Truth of GOD’s Word!! My little sheepy ears perked up!! Praying for your beloved friend : )

  4. Kathleen G says:

    I love your Sunday Scriptures. This peculiar one reminds me of my sister with the same conflict with a friend too. Kris is now at her Sunday Service, it took sometime to find a church that preach the Word in a positive way. Have a beautiful autumnal day Yvonne, Kathleen in Az

  5. It is very clear that you think it is better to be a Christian than not to be a Christian. Whether you say it or not, it comes through to her that you think she needs to “move up” to where you are and where you think is a better place in life to be. Has to be very difficult for you to know that you think she is “in need” of something you have decided is the best for her.

  6. Thank you for sharing your beautiful reflection. It is inspiring. When I am in conflict with another person – be it friend, family or coworker, I pray for them. The persistent, simple act of asking God for His help does not necessarily change the person, or the situation, but it does change is me and softens my hardened heart. Susan

  7. Your Sunday messages are an inspiration to me with much food for thought. I look forward to them each week.

  8. Wow…what a word…such important reminders for us all. I, in particular, really needed to hear this today. I am a christian and my first love is Jesus, my saviour, redeemer, friend; but, i too forget some times to check up on myself and ensure my love for others (everyone) is deep and true. With me, there’s a severed relationship between me my only sibling, my sister, who lives in the US. I will pray for you and please remember to pray for me….a kindred spirit who loves following your blog which is filled with decorating, cooking and spiritual inspiration!

  9. With the world turbulence as it is today … I have been troubled with “Love thy Neighbor” . Even our Homily today spoke of this and Fairness. I know I need inspiration and help. Thanks for helping. LUV your blog too.
    Peace and Blessings to all, Barb

    1. Barb, EVERYONE has trouble wit this! No matter what we believe! It’s just the nature of a broken world!

  10. Sometimes it is hard to love people but we as born again Christians need to Love them with the love God imparted in us which is not a fleshly love but a love which is God himself. God is Love. Your light of Jesus that lives on in you maybe the only light she ever sees. I encourage you to stay friends with her because you will be the kind of Godly friend that does no ill to his neighbor and will like the word says A friend that loves at all times. You will spread out your branches so others can rest in them and take refuge from the storms in their lives. If the church would wake up people would see Jesus in us and coming running to that love, joy and peace that can only come from knowing and believing in Jesus and our heavenly father. I sometimes look at your blog you are very talented, and beautiful decorator. I enjoy your words especially on Sunday’s. Have a blessed week and wish I could find a friend like you. You are a precious pearl!

    Helen

  11. Sharon B. says:

    Yvonne, thank you for sharing this. It is a scary world out there today and there are so many people who do not believe in Christ. It is a beautiful reminder of what the Lord expects of us and how we are to treat other people. I too have difficult people in my life and I strive everyday to remember to love them as the Lord loves me.

  12. Marilyn (in Ohio) says:

    Thank you for your insight & truthfulness. PTL!

  13. Sherry Myers says:

    Yvonne,
    As the apostle Paul said, “Encourage one another with these words.” You have done just that. Thank you so much. As Christians and students of the Word, we sometimes read and hear things that we know in our minds to be true. It is great comfort to hear another Christian express experiences that are so close to our own. It is a blessing that goes straight to the heart. Thank you for allowing the Lord to use you to challenge, comfort, and encourage others like me. You are a blessing. Have a very good week.

  14. Lovely post Yvonne. They way to win friendship, or wars is not through swords but love.
    You are right, we might not agree with what people do, but if we love them, they may not want to do it again.
    I hope your friend and you find the close friendship again.
    Hugs Kay

  15. Awesome, beautiful and oh so true. Thank you for your beautiful message.

  16. Yvonne, You are as beautiful on the inside as you are on the outside. No wonder you create such beautiful environment in your home and through your blog. It reflects your inner self. This message is very timely for me. Thank you.

  17. Thank you Father and Yvonne for the beautiful reminder it came at just the right moment in my life.

  18. Yvonne. This is all truth. Gods truth. And I am so grateful that you are not afraid to speak it. Thank you. It reminds me of a situation that we have at our small, God loving, searching the truth, church. At times we are all hard to love. But, we have a lady, who seems to have made a lot of bad choices in her life, and requires a lot of love. One need is help in transportation to church, Drs. appointments, etc. My thinking is that anyone who desires a ride to church should have people standing in line to pick them up. But it amazes me, that we have a hard time trying to get people to commit to this weekly way of serving. Oh they are okay with doing it once. Just don’t want to commit. God tries to tell them to love her as you would love one that is easy to love. If she was easy to love, people would be standing in line to do this for her. What does this reveal about us. So I would like to share your words if it is alright. Through you, I pray God will encourage us to stand up and be more like Him. Christ like. After all that is what we are here for. Thank you. Thank you so much.

  19. Yvonne,
    Thanks you for this post. I too have a friend like yours. She is a very lonely individual and I feel for her. I love her but she drains me every time I am with her. I keep trying to minister to her by example – by the way I live my life. She always wants to spend time with me; but I can only take so much of her. When I invite her to do activities with others; she declines. What I find difficult is her negativity and the language that she uses around me in spite of knowing that I am a Christian. To me this is a form of disrespect – all around. I love this life that God has so graciously given me. I want her to love her life and be grateful. She is so blessed and fails to see it. I too want to give up on her – but I keep trying to see her like God sees me. HE loves me unconditionally – and so I continue to love my friend as HE expects me to and pray.

  20. This is my first time visiting your blog and I feel like God is the one that steered me right to your blog. I recently found out that one of my closest friends (for 50 yrs) is living with an atheist. My friend is a christian, but now I’m concerned about her soul. I haven’t talked to her since I found out and when I do talk to her I don’t know what to say to her. I’m really upset about this and to hide my feelings from her is not an option, I love her to much for that and she knows me to well she would know something is wrong. I want to talk to her about this, but I don’t want her to think I’m judging her or preaching to her and I don’t want to lose her friendship, that would be like losing a sister. After reading your inspirational words I know I have to speak with her about this, but mostly I need to let her know I still love her, but more importantly God loves her and I’m not judging her and hopefully she will continue to go to church and practice her faith. Thank you for the inspiration I needed to do the right thing.

    1. Welcome to the StoneGable family, Patty! I just prayed for you and your friend and her live-in lover! May you love them and live Christ before them!