10 TIPS FOR BEING THE PERFECT GUEST

10 TIPS FOR BEING THE PERFECT GUEST- easy and common sense ways to enjoy a soiree and help your hostess to enjoy herself too!

The holidays are coming soon and that means parties, dinners, and even overnight stays. I’m sure we recognize all the work and time a host and hostess put into a party or get-together. It’s such an honor to be invited to a soiree… and so much fun! While we are enjoying the festivities here  are a few tips to help you not only have a great time but be a perfect guest too! 

 

Today is PRACTICALLY SPEAKING and today’s topic is near and dear to my heart! I love love love to be invited to a gathering so I can mix and mingle! And I want to make sure I do my part to help the host and hostess and keep the party going! 

CALL THE HOSTESS AND ASK IF YOU CAN HELP BY BRINGING SOMETHING

10 TIPS FOR BEING THE PERFECT GUEST- easy and common sense ways to enjoy a soiree and help your hostess to enjoy herself too!

Always call the hostess when you get an invitation and offer to bring something. If she says “no thank you” ask if you can bring a bottle of wine or soda or liquor to the party. Even if she really does not need you to bring anything you have made the kind gesture and signaled to your hostess that you are really excited about coming to the party!

What a gift to a hostess if she knows you have one dish or appetizer or bottle of wine handled! 

NEVER SHOW UP EMPTY HANDED

10 TIPS FOR BEING THE PERFECT GUEST- easy and common sense ways to enjoy a soiree and help your hostess to enjoy herself too!

I have taught my children a very very important mantra… “Never show up empty handed”! Even if it’s a small lunch or intimate get together. If you are being hosted bring a small token of your appreciation to your hostess… and host! 

Here are a few hostess gift ideas

  • candles
  • hostess napkins
  • small plant
  • unique bottle opener
  • journal to party plan
  • a fun tea towel
  • holiday CD
  • gourmet food
  • a few vintage silver spoons
  • anything homemade
  • game (like scrabble or backgammon) 
  • pretty tray or basket
  • devotional

Although many of the gifts above would work for a combined host and hostess gift it might be fun to give the host a little gift too because they are often overlooked. Here a few ideas…

  • coffee mug
  • cigars
  • decanter
  • deck of cards
  • bbq tool
  • coffee traveler
  • mini tool kit
  • coffee table book
  • fun ice mold

DON’T BE CLIQUEY

10 TIPS FOR BEING THE PERFECT GUEST- easy and common sense ways to enjoy a soiree and help your hostess to enjoy herself too!

Work the room! A party is much more of a success if people mingle! That means moving around the chatting with people we know and talking with those we don’t! Nothing kills a part more than everyone sitting around in cliques! Get up and get moving! 

Believe it or not, I am an extroverted introvert. I love people and parties but sometimes they zap my energy. So I try to avoid people that suck the air out of a room. Don’t be that person! Give others room to talk and tell their stories too. You don’t need everyone to know how fabulous you are!

MAKE ONE NEW FRIEND

10 TIPS FOR BEING THE PERFECT GUEST- easy and common sense ways to enjoy a soiree and help your hostess to enjoy herself too!

Every time I go to a party I think about making one new friend! I have “found” some of my best and lifelong friends at parties! Be outgoing but not overpowering. If you find a potential friend, ask her if she would like to continue your conversation over coffee or lunch. 

PICK UP AFTER YOURSELF

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As a hostess, I know how discouraging it can be to pick up after a party is over. If guests would just pick up their cups, glasses, dishes, napkins, etc it would be so much easier for the hostess. As a perfect guest, you can do this! As you put your dishes in or near the sink you can pick up your things and any things you find around you!

If there is an accidental spill or mess tell your hostess immediately! Offer to have it professionally cleaned. A little bit of club soda can do wonders if a spill is caught right away!

DON’T OVERINBIBE 

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Unless you are of college age and going to a frat party, don’t get drunk (and if you are of college age don’t get drunk… think of your mamma!)! Number one rule! No one… and I repeat… no one likes a guest who has had too much to drink. It’s disrespectful and a burden to your hostess and host!

KEEP AN EYE ON YOUR KIDS

10 TIPS FOR BEING THE PERFECT GUEST- easy and common sense ways to enjoy a soiree and help your hostess to enjoy herself too!

If the party you are going to includes children make sure to keep an eye on yours! It is not the hostess and host’s job to watch your kiddos. Don’t let your children do anything you would not let them do in your own home! 

Also bring a little bag of things to occupy your children in case the home you are going to does not have age appropriate toys.

ASK THE HOSTESS IF YOU CAN HELP

10 TIPS FOR BEING THE PERFECT GUEST- easy and common sense ways to enjoy a soiree and help your hostess to enjoy herself too!

As the party get’s going, ask the hostess if you can give her a hand. It does not mean you will spend all evening slaving away as the party is roaring around you. Just spend a couple minutes showing your hostess that you care!

DONT LEAVE WITHOUT SAYING “GOODBYE”

10 TIPS FOR BEING THE PERFECT GUEST- easy and common sense ways to enjoy a soiree and help your hostess to enjoy herself too!

Say your “goodnights” to the host and hostess before you leave the party. Spend just a minute thanking them for inviting you! 

CALL THE HOSTESS OR DROP HER A THANK YOU CARD

10 TIPS FOR BEING THE PERFECT GUEST- easy and common sense ways to enjoy a soiree and help your hostess to enjoy herself too!

 

I have a friend who calls me the day after a get-together and tells me how much fun she had. This means so much to me! Call your host and hostess the next day or drop them a thank you card. I bet you will make their day and you will get invited to their next event!

 

It does not matter if you are invited to a gala or a small get-together. These tips will help you be the perfect quest and put you at the top of the guest list!

Do you have a tip you can share? We would love to hear!!!

get-the-look-2

Here are some of the hostess gifts I would love to get!  Click on the picture to go see it. Why not have a small stash of great little gifts that you can take to any hostess?

You might also like:

TIPS FOR A COZY GUEST ROOM DURING CHRISTMAS

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pin-it-and-save-the-inspiration

Did you know I have a “Christmas” Pinterest board that has over 1,200 pins? Lot’s of Christmas inspiration. You can follow me on Pinterest HERE.

10 TIPS FOR BEING THE PERFECT GUEST- easy and common sense ways to enjoy a soiree and help your hostess to enjoy herself too!

 

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110 Comments

  1. Anne Marie says:

    Great tips and beautiful pictures – thanks.

  2. Thank you for reminding us how to be a good guest. In our very busy world I sometimes forget to be the guest I would love to have in MY home. Thanks again!

  3. Karen VanLoo says:

    Love your ideas! I host both Thanksgiving and Christmas at my own home, but I love the idea of never going to someone’s home empty handed. I always take something, a bottle of wine, an appetizer or dessert, or flowers or a small plant (depending on my friend’s likes). It’s just nice to be a gracious hostess or guest, wherever you go! Happy Thanksgiving time, I just love this time of the year!

  4. Always love your ideas Yvonne! Very helpful! Thank you so much!

  5. Thanks for these reminders especially with the holidays around the corner.

  6. Thank you! Good ideas and reminders.

  7. Susan Crowson says:

    I love the glassware shown in your tablescape. I have the same in amethyst. They look great even with my favorite blue willow dishes. Thank you for your blog.

  8. On point……as always! Love your ideas!

  9. Marie in VA says:

    Great reminder on how to be a good guest- it’s easy to forget these days. Love your gift ideas. Beautiful table decorations!

  10. Yvonne, your tips are spot on! I was brought up in a German household and my parents NEVER went to someone else’s home without bringing something along. It was usually food or wine and most of the time, both. Even when i grew up and left home and they would come to visit, they still had food, sometimes bushels of it, in hand. It was so ingrained into me that i couldn’t imagine going to visit without bringing something along.
    I also like some of your other suggestions such as picking up after yourself and others around you, while making your way to the kitchen sink as you’re preparing to say your “good-byes”. GREAT list of tips. Thanks for the timely reminder.

  11. Carol Davis says:

    The rosemary ‘trees’ that are at the nurseries this time of the year are my go to gift if the hostess likes to cook. I love getting one for my self just to help the kitchen have a wonderful fragrance.

  12. Several different groups of friends enjoy meeting for lunch regularly. I often share small “surcies” with each group throughout the year. Your lists provide several suggestions I will use. Thanks so much for this post!

  13. Good Morning Yvonne, Thank you for these timely suggestions and reminders…I love your selections for ‘host’ gifts…a stylized deck of cards or small game would be fun to tuck in with the holiday wine ! I wish you lived here in New England…you’d be at the top of my guest list… Every time !!! Your holiday table is brimming with cheer..so festive ! Sincerely grateful for all you do for us…. Smiles……Anne

  14. Theresa Kleinschmidt says:

    Thanks for all the great tips,Yvonne!

  15. Thank you for these great ideas for hostess and host gifts. I will be using them as we are going to be guests for Thanksgiving. I look forward to reading your blog when I see it in my email.

  16. Sherry Killough says:

    Yvonne, such great advice. Great suggestions for host and hostess gifts.

  17. Great tips! Your tablescape is beautiful as always.

  18. elegant, yet casual. color combo is FAB-U-LOUS!l

  19. Love the idea to bring something for the host.
    ps. adding rosemary trees to my list!!!!

  20. every one is a good one, thank you.

  21. Ann Black says:

    Love the glasses on the table and table scape… Love the gifts too. Great manners and suggestions too!

  22. Good tips! I love the way your house looks, with the touches of bright red! It really brings the room to life! Beautiful!

  23. JudyCinNC says:

    A very beautiful and lively tablescape – it would just make me happy to be invited by someone who cares about the details. It says I am important enough to be asked. The More people should practice manners.in a world that has forgotten how to. Yvonne, how do you handle people/friends who do not respond to an RSVP? There are more and more people who don’t seem to know what it means, and when I have had to call them it feels like begging them to come instead of asking for the courtesy of a reply. I will wait for a reply as I really need to know. Judy C in NC

  24. Diane Walters says:

    You always do it up so well!

  25. I never go empty handed when visiting someone.
    Great tips.Love your table settings,the black,white
    and red is so attractive.

  26. Carla Scott says:

    Great article! I’m actually forwarding this on to my college student!

  27. Thanks for the wonderful reminder. All too often we forget proper manners these days.

  28. Great tips. It’s good to consider some dietary needs. If I have a vegetarian attending a dinner party, I always ask what I can make. Sometimes, it’s as easy as making meatless pasta or having them bring their own veggie burger for the grill.

  29. Carol Elkins says:

    Great hostess gift ideas! And great tips, too!!!

  30. Wonderful ideas! My Rosemary outside is doing beautifully — I hate the thought of it dying. Next year I’m going to pot rosemary early in the year and then have them as gifts. One thing I always do is try to include all newcomers in the conversation. That way they don’t feel left out. Have a wonderful weekend!

  31. This posting is excellent and a much needed reminder these days. It is one thing to be a gracious host or hostess, but another to be a gracious guest! We may love all our guests equally, but having guests with manners, that is amazing! Thanks for the excellent reminders and helpful hints.

  32. Rosa Garrett says:

    Thanks for the helpful tips Yvonne. Happy Thanksgiving to you and yours!

  33. Such great tips! Plus I am LOVING the tablescape! Gorgeous!

  34. Thank you for a very timely and wonderfully written message!

  35. These are the best tips! Thank you.

  36. I love the tips and the pictures. Also, don’t forget to RSVP early. It shows that you are looking forward to the evening rather than you waiting until the last minute (to see if another party invitation comes around).

    1. I’m afraid RSVP’s have become hard to come by! I always follow up with my guests if I don’t hear from them. Life is busy… so I understand!

  37. great tips, I always bring a little something for the host and hostess, if its flowers I make sure that
    its in a container (I had that happens to me so many times scrambling to get a container).
    love your blog its never boring and so refreshing!

  38. Love love love the black white and red colors !!!! Wrapping paper is outstanding!!!

  39. Great tips, and just in time for party season. I would like to add that if you do bring a dish to share, please bring anything needed to serve it, or take care of last minute preparations for your dish yourself. I have had guests drop a dish on my counter, along with additional ingredients that needed to be added, or no serving bowl, etc. If I am hosting I am usually pretty busy putting everything together to have to suddenly finish prepping another dish or drop everything to search for a serving tray or bowl. The intent is to help your hostess, not make more work for her.

  40. Heidi Childs says:

    Thank you for your encouraging words. I am afraid the art of being a good guest is becoming lost in our world.

  41. Linda Godwin says:

    Yvonne thank you for the tips. I must admit I always ask if I can bring anything, however I am guilty of showing up empty handed if she insists she doesn’t need anything. I will follow your advise and always bring a little something. Thanks for your reminder of being a perfect guest and your suggestions for hostess gifts. Very helpful message. Your table is lovely as always.

  42. Great tips. Everything you do has the personal touch. This is a busy time of the year and every idea helps, especially when company comes.

  43. All great tips and reminders. Love the tablescape!

  44. Love this post and your thoughtful reminder. Thank you for the ideas on host & hostess gifts. Your table scape is lovely.

  45. Enjoyed your post and the wonderful ideas. I am an artisan baker so when I take a hostess/host gift it is something special that I have made and baked. I use the many wonderful bundt pans available on the market to make the gift look extra special.. Around this time of year I make pumpkin breads or spice cakes. They are always appreciated and enjoyed. I wrap them festively with a clear wrap and add a decorative element like a pine cone and ribbons. Yum, I am getting hungry just thinking about this. And yes, I will be baking something special for this weeks event. Love your photography.

  46. Hi Yvonne,

    Such common-sense, yet thoughtful suggestions! All your tips are spot on. Thanks as always.

    You asked for added suggestions from your readers, and I have one pertaining to the use of cell phones. We gave a dinner party last week and when we answered the door to one particular guest, she was standing on our porch with her head bend down as she studied her cell phone. Later during the dinner itself, a couple of guests pulled out their cell phones and started reading their messages. I think that guests should keep their cell phones tucked away, and if they absolutely have to take a call, they should excuse themselves and go off to a private place in the house. I’m sure there are lots of folks who would disagree with me, but that’s just my two cents.

    1. Next time when guests arrive ask them to place their phones in a basket for the evening. Your event will be more fun for everyone. Believe me this will work. But you will have to do it every time they come.

      1. Thanks for the input, Lenore! After I wrote the above comment, I went on to read Yvonne’s post about overnight guests. I see she made the same suggestion. We will definitely do that next time!

  47. Yvonne, Stone Gable is my favorite blog! I look forward to your tablescapes, and holiday inspiration. So very many of your tips have become my own. Last year I re-did all my Christmas organization boxes like you suggested. Instead of lugging enormous 50 pound boxes down the stairs , I now have small see-thru containers that are organized by color. This is so much nicer, and when I want to change up my Christmas decor, I only bring down the ones I need. My little boys can help me much easier now!

    I am simply drooling over the table settings above. We have a contest at our local fair with tablescapes and yours would most definitely win the holiday category! Black and white are my go-to colors, so I am going to try your idea above with lime green ribbon. Enjoy your weekend. God Bless : )

    1. YOU GO GIRL! I can just see that blue ribbon now! Please let me know how things go!

  48. Gayle Mathues says:

    lovely reminders about how to appreciate and assist your host/hostess… sometimes we need to be reminded about the basics.

  49. Thank you for the wonderful tips. I still need to get into the practice of bringing a gift for the hostess. I just purchased a set of copper mule mugs at Home Depot. Placing a real or artificial succulent in each one makes for two easy and affordable gifts! Love the devotional gift idea, as well! He’s the Reason!

  50. Anne Porter says:

    Especially at holiday time I like to take a food item as a hostess/host gift…packaging is especially beautiful then and I always enjoy having little extra bits and bites on hand . Things like fancy nuts and crackers or cheeses; chips and dips or even smoked salmon or a basket of fruit seem always welcome.

  51. Excellent tips & advice! Thank you.

  52. Thank you for the reminders !

  53. Great tips and advise on being the perfect guest!

  54. I like the black, white and red together !

  55. Martha Durick says:

    Love your tablescape! As a guest remember to compliment the hostess on her decor. She has made an effort and would appreciate your comment.

  56. Just love the table! I just decided yesterday that I am going to go with black, red and white for a Christmas tea I am hosting and plan to incorporate some of your ideas….yay, thanks.

  57. I always take a small gift of some sort. Every now and then someone gives me a hostess gift and it always makes me feel so appreciated.

  58. GwenCondit says:

    I enjoyed the tablescape too. And the sensible tips. My favorite “hostess gift” was always a beautiful poinsettia. It is seasonal, pretty for the moment, and our big home centers have oodles of choices. Even the grocery stores!! I love poinsettias so I think that’s why I give them to my hostess!!!

    1. Keep in mind poisettas are poisonous to cats and dogs, though. They’re lovely – but not for everyone.

      : – )

  59. GREAT advice, Yvonne! Believe it or not this weekend will be the SEVENTH week in a row I have had guests. I have been insanely busy! Then I get a weekend off, then host Thanksgiving, then delve into the holidays. Whew. I must have a death wish!

    I agree with every bit of your advice but have another too: As much as a hostess really loves a beautiful bouquet of flowers…unless you have it shipped earlier that day – going to a party and handing her a bouquet at the door is not as appreciated as a guest might think. She then must stop what she’s doing, find a vase, cut the bouquet to arrange it…..all the while the doorbell is ringing and possibly the oven timer is going off.

    Now a POTTED plant, or a bouquet already to set out is awesome – but those lovely inexpensive bouquets at the grocery? Not so much.

    1. I love flowers vase or not. But I know it does make extra work for the hostess . Good point!

  60. Lovely tablescape! Thank you for the hostess/host gift ideas, usually I’m at a loss so I default to a bottle of wine. 🙂 I always enjoy your post, keep them coming!

  61. Great tips! Even if the host/ hostess declines I still will bring a nice bottle of wine. It’s the thought behind it.

  62. Karen Cadden says:

    Thank you for such a great concise list. I can attest to how much it means when a guest takes the time to take even just one of these suggestions to heart.

  63. Pamela Richards says:

    Beautiful tablescape ideas. Wonderful suggestions for hostess gifts. Thank you. Lov your blog!

  64. I’m going to try to forward this to my three girls. All things we know but need a little reminder now and then
    Thanks

  65. PATRICE BURCHETT says:

    Thanks for the reminder of How To Be A Good Guest. This is the first year I will be a guest and I’m very excited! I was thinking about bringing a gift. You always have such good ideas. Love your blog! Blessings to you!

  66. Your tips are a wonderful reminder of courtesies my mom and great aunt instilled in me, especially the lost art of sending a thank you note to your hostess. Also, thank you for reminding us to think of others, especially a new face in the group who may need a warm smile and kind words to make them feel welcome. Love your blog.

  67. Maggie Nelson says:

    Thank you for the list of tips and ideas and I love the colors combination on your table. The touch of red was excellent idea!

  68. Judy Tower says:

    love the black and white chevron paper. I am curious about what was your gift that was on each place setting?

  69. From my friend Pinky: WONDERFUL tips!! I especially liked the one about making a new friend and continuing the conversation over coffe or lunch! Fabulous! I always try to thank the host and/or hostess the next day, even if it is just an email. Even when I get together with a group of friends for dinner, I email each of them to say thanks for a great evening. My Mom always taught us to send thank you notes, she was the queen if thank you notes;) Hsve a beautiful weekend. Hope you have had a FABULOUS week….(wink). XOXO Let me know when we can get together!!!!

  70. Lynn Dunkin says:

    Great Points!!! The older I get I am much more conscious of being a good guest…thankful for maturity!
    I love your table!! So fun!!

  71. Thank you for reminding us that thoughtfulness is always appreciated, especially when shown to the host and hostess, who so graciously extend themselves.
    such a festive and vibrant tables cape.

  72. Sherry Pelle says:

    Love all of these tips Yvonne! Thanks for posting.

  73. Great post ,love all gift tips.
    Be Blessed

  74. OH MY GOODNESS!!
    This is my favorite table scape yet! I’m a black and white lover too so this is just my cup of tea.
    Great suggestions. Thanks so much, Yvonne 🙂

  75. In regards to host/hostess gifts I would encourage people to be a careful in regards to giving wine unless you know for a fact your host/hostess would like the wine you would be gifting. My husband and I are not drinkers but yet we’ve been given more than our share of wine as Christmas gifts from gift exchanges, hostess gifts, etc. For some reason people just assume everybody drinks wine. My sister does drink wine but tends to only like the sweet, dessert type wines but yet that’s not what people usually gift so again she has quite the collection that she’ll never drink. I know it’s the thought that counts but it’s nice to receive something that you can really use or enjoy.

  76. Lanita Anderson says:

    Thank you for the good reminders about being a good guest….so timely as the holidays are upon us! I also LOVED seeing your holiday table and the great black, white & red color scheme! So pretty and so many fun ideas….. Blessings to you this holiday season!

  77. I find it difficult to think of what to take so, thanks for the great list hostess gift ideas. I’ll have to remember to pick up some things when I see them. Enjoy all your posts.

  78. Great tips. As I shop during the year (especially HomeGoods) I pick up small hostess gifts when something catches my eye. By the time the holidays come around I am ready.

  79. Ginger Maxey says:

    You always inspire me in your decorating, cooking, and entertaining.??

  80. A good guest should be on time but not too early.

  81. I sincerely believe parents should be in charge of their children at any party or occasion. I feel it’s difficult and embarrassing to reprimand a guest’s child when you are the host or hostess.

    1. I don’t reprimand the kiddos, I gently point out issue to the parents. They are usually having fun socializing and forget about keeping an eye on their little ones. I usually say something like, “Suzy, little Bobby has been having a blast jumping on the sofa. I’m sure you don’t want him to do that and don’t allow it at home. He is adorable, especially when he is having so much fun”. They get the gentle nudge. If they don’t get the message I only invite them to an “all grown up” party.

  82. Teresa Sole says:

    Thank you for reminding people to say or send a Thank You!!! We don’t say it often enough! People need to know they are appreciated, for what they do and who they are. I really enjoy your blog. Thank you!

  83. Great ideas for hostess gifts. I am always at a loss on what to take. And, really love those red rubber boots with the festive greenery.

  84. The new Miss Manners needs to send this out to all young people 😉
    Boy, o boy do they need manners
    Sweet synopsis of protocol

  85. Thanks Yvonne, Sometimes we all need the little reminders for thos simple things that we tend to overlook in our everyday busy lives.

  86. Wonderful advice, Yvonne! I loved reading everyone’s ideas!

  87. Thank you for the thoughtful suggestions. With the holidays coming up, they are very appropriate.

  88. Portia read says:

    Thanks for the host and hostess gift suggestions. One that I feel is a bit challenging to receive as a hostess is a bunch of fresh flowers that need to be attended to in the midst of getting the last minute preparations done.
    My space is limited and everything is in full view.

  89. Thank you for the gift ideas!

  90. Thanks for these ideas! I know I appreciate these little extra things when we have a get together.

  91. The gift ideas were very helpful!

  92. Great tips to remind us all as the Holidays approach. Thank-you!

  93. Very inspiring article! I love how you have planted the small trees in your pretty white dishes. Just gotta copy that idea! I have purchased so many white dishes since I have started following your blog. Ha!Ha!

  94. Ginger Miller says:

    This site makes my day!

  95. Connie Fowler says:

    I loved these tips for being a good guest. I always try to do be the best guest I can, but these are good reminders, and I could even bring my guest etiquette up a notch! Thanks for the gift ideas too.